So you wanna be a boss. Netflix and
chill will yourself to get off the couch already. How to Be a Boss (According to Your Favorite Shows) is your excuse to binge all the TV you want. It’s career inspiration, right? As for me, chain-watching teen dramas now qualifies as research to bring you this informative series. We all win.
Veronica Lodge. Charismatic, cunning, filthy rich. The character has all the makings of a badass business tycoon, just like her daddy. But the Veronica of my time—she of the ’80s newsprint comics devoured in the back of my family station wagon—frankly squandered her privilege. Rather, she flaunted her money, wrapped poor Archiekins around her bejeweled finger, and wasted some serious boss potential.
Of course, the Veronica of 2019 could never be written this way. And thankfully, Riverdale’s Ronnie, despite her questionable methods, is leveraging her position for good. At the climax of season 2 (spoiler alert!), Veronica uses ill-begotten ransom money to buy a divey Southside hangout as a bargaining chip to take back Pop’s Choklit Shop from her crime lord father. Let’s just say the sap doesn’t flow far from the Blossom Maple Farms tree.
In season 3, Ronnie reinvents the fledgling but much beloved Pop’s to save the business. With the help of her friends—and no thanks to her estranged father’s Jingle Jangle scheme—she opens a virgin-cocktail-serving speakeasy in the diner’s basement.
In the world of Veronica Lodge, you really can have it all—a full-time high school career and a side gig with plenty of time left over for her totally normal teen hobbies: catching murderers and orchestrating prison breaks. How does she do it?
Here are 12 rules to live and work by, according to teen mogul Veronica Lodge—and her precocious Riverdale friends:1. Keep your enemies and business rivals close. They are, after all, your parents. 2. Surround yourself with the right people. Say, hot high school football players who can easily double as bartenders. 3. …and a keen BFF who will work for free because she, like, totally owes you her life. 4. Meet often with stakeholders—in the second floor bathroom at Riverdale High. 5. Find a community of like-minded self-starters, even if they just happen to be juvies. 6. Make strategic partnerships (across gangs on both sides of the tracks). 7. Look the part. You don’t really need glasses to see, but no one else has to know that. 8. Get acquainted with local law enforcement (before Daddy does). 9. ...and if you find yourself in trouble, secure solid legal representation. Like your mom, Molly Ringwald. 10. Use the resources at your disposal. What other high school has this impossibly decked-out newspaper office? 11. Learn to delegate the dirty work. What are butlers and teenage boys for, anyway? 12. And lastly, treat yourself to some downtime (with guys on Daddy’s hitlist). Feature image by Niall McClelland